Have you ever defined what are your boundaries for your personal space, your sacred zone? Not only your physical space, also your energy.
This is your own space, where you determine who is allowed to come in. For the sole purpose to protect your energy, you decide and sometimes through learning not to let other people's fears, assumptions, childhood programming and moods affect your day.
I used to get really frustrated by other people's toxic reactions, in my mind I would say: Why are they acting with such insecurity and self-destructive behaviors? or Why aren't they being just? Kind of wanting to tell them: Wake the hell up!
I learned that even though I cared for them very much, I could carefully place them outside my sacred zone. I can still talk to them, and listen to them, but from a place of protection.
I know it's easier said than done!
But if you could visualize a big circle of light surrounding you, that is your shield. When certain buttons are pushed and your blood begins to boil, take deep breaths, and visualize your shield. The more you practice this, the easier it will be.
From a more logical perspective and a deeper understanding, here are 5 ways to defend yourself from bad vibes:
It's not about you.
The majority of the time people react due to their fears, insecurities and childhood programming. Understanding this especially with relationships, will allow you to be more understanding and caring. As upset or hurt as you might be, try to talk it out, both sides take ownership, forgive and discuss how can you better your relationship. Having said this, it comes a time and place, that it takes two for a relationship to work, if one person is not willing to work on themselves, then it's a big indication for you to take a step back.
Set healthy boundaries.
You decide when it's enough, and how to mark your limits. It's OK to speak your truth, in a respectful way. You are in control, and you have every right to defend your energy when someone is being negative or harming towards you. There are times where you should take the high road and there are times when you need to speak out.
You do you.
Your happiness always comes first, your inner work comes first. So you can be the best person for yourself and for your family as well. You deserve to be absolutely fulfilled every day, doing what you want to do, and living the life that you want to live. There will always be vibe killers out there, ready to talk and judge, work so much in yourself that you don't give a damn about what other people say. Choose you, every single day!
Protect you energy.
I find myself often, listening to other person's problems, and trying to help them out. I have always been like that, nor do I want to change, helping and supporting people it's a big part of fulfillment for me. But having said this, I need to be very firm, and know when it's time to pump the brakes. If you are a giver, you might want to re-evaluate and see when it's time to protect your energy. Specially for friendships, that are only one-way they are more takers than givers, let them go.
Just ask and listen.
Because 99.9% of the time it's not about you, if someone is acting out, and you care about that person take time and ask: "You said ______ it hurt me in this way ______" What's going on? And just listen, help them out.
The majority of the time, specially in relationships people don't want to come out and hurt you, it's more about them. Try not to get aggressive and reactive, be proactive.
Having said this, if you don't care enough for this person, then let it go, set your boundaries and move along.
These are easy action tips that you can apply in difficult situations. They will help you have a better reaction because at the end of the day that's the only thing you can control.