So this month - OCTOBER is all about taking care of our body, but what about taking caring of our mind?? Or as I call it, our Inner Child, which in many occasions likes to act a bit mean.
The Inner Mean Child as I like to call it, the inner toxic dialogue that we struggle with on a daily basis. The I am not good enough or skinny enough or pretty enough... The part of you, that constantly seeks for validation in not quite the healthiest places, the part of us that feels we have to fulfill other people's expectations of who we should be at the expense of our own dreams. You know what I am talking about, right?
And, if something we know for sure is that we all want to have that:
Dancing, Laughing, Happy, Serendipity way of life!
For us to achieve that, not perfect, but a more fulfilling life we have to let that Inner Child go! Or at least acknowledge it when it starts acting out, and replace the negative toxic thoughts with words of empowerment, that will scare that little booger away, reaaal quick!
After working with so many women and by my very own experience, here are the most toxic statements we say to ourselves. Five Things Your Inner Mean Child Says and Need to STOP (counter actions to overcome them):
1. You're not pretty, skinny or good enough.
We have all been there, done that. The times that we have looked in the mirror and just repulse ourselves of the way our hair, skin or body looks. The first step is to acknowledge is there, second step give yourself permission to accept your body in the stage in your life you are, and third lead the way to change if you wish from a
place of self-love.
2. She is better than me.
We all are experts at the comparison game! Especially now a days, where we define our worth in how much likes we get on Instagram. Every time we play this game, we are directly going into Unhappy land. When you feel you are falling into that, instead of comparing yourself with that person, ask yourself: What can I learn from her? How does this person inspire me? This may sound harsh, but if a certain person doesn't serve value to your life and the only reason you follow that person on social media is because you know her or she is a famous blogger, actor, celebrity, but you only find yourself comparing yourself with that person, then unfollow them. Nothing personal I say this with much love and respect, and I emphasize in this point, that doesn't mean that person is not good at what she/he does, but if it doesn't add value, then it is just a distraction from your true dreams, goals and purpose. Simple as that.
3. I am a Fraud.
Every single person, specially the risk takers have felt this way in many points of their lives. It is commonly known as fear, the fight and flight risk in us, the wanting to stop because of the fear of the unknown, the fear of failure. Just ask yourself, what are you more afraid of: Failing? or the What If? What if, I could have done/achieve this, and I never even tried. You will always have that doubt for the rest of your life. So you better not listen to that Mean Inner Child! And Have faith, faith to take the journey. Don't know how to start or you feel too much fear? Have enough faith to take you not necessarily somewhere where you can see clearly where you are going but just enough where you can see the order of your step one in from of another.
Faith it until you make it!
4. I'm being so selfish.
This is very typical specially as moms, every time we want to do something for ourselves or we WANT to say, No. The Inner Mean Child says, you better not, you are a bad mom if you do! If you wanna be the dancing, happy, grateful kinda person = dancing, happy, grateful kinda mom; then you have to live YOUR life by your own terms! And that only YOU knows, don't seek validation on what society or other people think you, a women, or a mom should be, and seek that in you, WHAT DO YOU SEE IN YOU?? Which I hardly would think that means neglecting your child, that means living a more balanced life, a more balanced life means a more dancing, happy, grateful life. Do you see where I'm going?
5. No one can love me.
This is summed up by all the inner toxic messages we tell ourselves daily (all of the above), we have done it for so long, at some point we started to believe it. We said it must be true! And there is some true to this message, if there is no self-love then how can others love us or how can we love others?? Well, first by saying to yourself all the counter statements that I said above, you will start connecting mind and body and feel more truthful and loving to yourself. But also know this: You are worthy to receive all the love in this world! Starting by receiving all the love that you can give yourself EVERY SINGLE DAY!
Now let's all work a bit harder in scaring the sh*t out of our Inner Mean Child, to choose love over fear. To choose your own truth over others expectations of who you should be. By ditching these 5 mean statements you are on your way of a dancing, happy, more serendipity way of life!
Now tell me, what are the things that you inner mean child tells you? How can you cultivate more of what adds value to your life, and weed out what doesn't? I would love to know, please share in a comment below. Remember, there is always someone reading who will be inspired by your own truth.
As always, thank you for opening your hearts, reading and for your valuable feedback.
Lots of love,