I found myself in the middle of the Costa Rican jungle having the time of my life without the usual guilt of living my kid behind…
As I continue to travel sometimes with my family, sometimes with the hubs and sometimes with friends I have been able to identify that each trip gives me a difference experience, each one as valuable as the other.
My latest trip to Costa Rica gave me a very profound insight and perspective, you see as I start my 30s, I am starting to understand why they say, 30s is the time where you truly find your own identity.
Particularly, when I travel without the family and only with my friends, if you are a traveling mom you will might be able to identify, there is a sense of freedom of only doing what YOU want, a time of taking care of yourself, a time of discovery and adventure!
I wasn’t always this easy going, at the beginning there was a constant struggle between the sense of freedom and the guilt and inner voices of: “shouldn’t be here, you should be at home with your family”.
Through out the years, through out this journey of being the best mom I can be as well as the best happiest healthiest version of MYSELF, I have earned security and clarity.
Here is my response for every inner judgmental message that has gone through my mind when traveling. A message I should NEVER repeat to myself, neither do you.
#1 You are a MOM you should be with your kid
How many times have we heard this?!! As women, specifically as hispanic women we are programmed to think, our unique desires and dreams are over the moment you give birth. Well, let me tell you that is so far from the truth, you are still a human being, you are still a woman with goals and dreams. Separate one from another,be the best mom you can be and be the best version
of yourself, believe me you will be more fulfilled, consequently you will be abetter mom! So you do you, period.
#2 You are married the years of adventure are over
Another common myth, you are married woman what are you doing traveling by yourself, omg! Yes, I have heard it, seen it, told in my face, and it did affect me at times, but then I realized, their judgment is a clear reflection of their perspective not mine. I am beyond blessed to be married to a man, who takes charge whenI’m gone, who values the day to day work that moms do, and considers that giving moms a couple days off is more than healthy and necessary. I love him so much because he sees the world through my eyes… he is someone who understands that traveling gives me a sense of purpose and joy. His mantra is happy wife,happy life, what can I say he is a smart guy! On this one requires total communication and trust from both parties, there is no room for insecurities!
#3 It’s too many days I should cut the trip short
I have only done this a couple of times, with the hubs and girlfriends leaving for a week and there was soooo much guilt at the beginning.Eventually, you start living more in the moment and appreciating the power of now. Of course I miss my daughter, but I also know that being able to travel for many days knowing my kid is with grandma safe and terribly spoiled, is truly a gift. My husband and I are beyond grateful, to be able to spend many days alone reconnecting, having fun, two goofballs traveling the world. One big reason also for me to leave for several days is that, one of my favorite things to do when traveling is to submerge myself in the culture, the food and the views and you can only do this when you are able to be there for more than just a couple of days.
#4 My kid will be scarred for life because I’m gone
O.K. l know we can be overprotecting and fearful that our kids might grow up traumatized, we constantly feel we are walking on eggshells scared that we might screw things up. What I constantly say to myself, my kid will not be traumatized because mommy is traveling. I ask myself the following questions when I go into judgmental mode: Is she safe? Yes. Is she having a good time?Definitely yes! Do I think that will traumatize her? No I have come to learn a very valuable lesson; you teach by example. I want my daughter to grow up and be exposed to other cultures as we travel with her and as she sees us traveling as well, because I want her if she wants to, to travel as well when she grows up. I don’t want her to grow up programmed as I did, thinking because you are mom, your desires and dreams stop there. I want her to know that she can have it all be a mom, be a wife and follow her dreams!
#5 I’m spending too much money on this trip
There is a couple of reasons why I work so hard, and one of them is so I can travel. Traveling is truly priceless, I am truly priceless, every dollar spent in any trip, I deserve and you deserve it, as well. We only live once, let’s live to the fullest of our ability, so take that trip and leave that guilt behind, because the world is waiting!
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Lots of love,